The Hot Dog Permit

The debate got heated, like a Vienna Beef frank in boiling water. And just when you thought a clear-cut winner would never emerge from the rubble, the City of Chicago steps in. And with the filing of one simple permit yesterday, the argument has come to an end, and a final determination has been reached. A hot dog, though nestled as it is between halves of a bread-like container, is not a sandwich.

As you can see from the photo above, the aforementioned permit, issued the 6th of September, in the year of our Lord 2016, allows for the renovation of a “former sandwich shop” at 4379 West 26th Street into a “hot dog restaurant.” Obviously, if hot dogs were sandwiches, said renovation would be entirely unnecessary. You just continue to make a new kind of sandwich in your old sandwich-making space. But that can’t be done in this case. Or casing.

With one simple word — “former” — this single permit proves hot dogs have no business occupying an establishment meant for the construction of sandwiches. And while many will be displeased by this determination, it allows Chicago as a whole to heal, and move on to the next dilemma; whether or not ketchup belongs on non-sandwiches.

——— ORRRRRRRR ————

Could it be this permit pertains merely to the renovation of a “shop” to a “restaurant” and has nothing to do with anything produced within said establishment? Shoot. It’s like we’re right back where we started.